Person of the Day Wednesday September 10, 2009

Yesterday on the campus of Ohio University all girls involved in a sorority could be spotted exhibiting a straight black tee shirt that read "I Am Greek" on the front. This was likely intended to serve as an early method of recruitment that displayed sorority members as a large, united group of young women who were relatively proud of their involvement in their respective campus organizations.

I will now fast forward to today. As I exited my first class of the day and began my brief journey across the south side of campus I couldn't help but be alarmed by a shocking sight. What I saw was a seemingly alert and functional blonde girl parading across the South Green lawn with what appeared to be a customary astuteness. The only thing that set me off about her was the fact that she dawned the very shirt that a whole category of people had systematically worn the previous day.

Naturally, I began brainstorming explanations for this, and I decided that there was no possible way that her wearing the "I Am Greek" shirt today was not completely embarrassing. I developed three approximated scenarios, all of which render today's Person of the Day socially unacceptable:

1. Her confident stride across campus was actually a "walk of shame" from a Wednesday night hook up. 

Trivia: What is more inglorious than a drunk hookup at Ohio University?

Answer: A WEDNESDAY NIGHT drunk hookup at Ohio University.

2. She was simply still wearing the shirt from yesterday. 

Perhaps she was simply attempting to heighten her status within the organization  by attempting to advertise Greek Life for an extra day. However, strength in numbers was the point of the campaign, and if I were an impressionable college girl and I saw today's Person of the Day wearing that shirt today, I would tend to shy away from Greek recruitment. This is primarily because this girl was literally the only one wearing the shirt today, making the Greeks look like a pretty lonely group on campus. Not to be overshadowed, scenario #2 would also indicate that this girl did not wash her shirt after a day's wear on Wednesday leaving it marginally sweaty, inelegantly wrinkled, and principally disgusting.

3. She missed the memo.

This possibility would mean that she is the uninformed sorority member. The one that defies the odds of intimate sisterhood and fundamental affiliation with her respective organization. The member that remains blissfully oblivious to all the latest group news/events, but still puts forth the front of an involved and loyal member of her respective organization.

So, tardy t-shirt toter, you may not be the sorority sister of the year, but, today, you are Person of the Day.